Tensionado
~ Soapdish

Tensionado
Nagulat din ako
Nung malaman na hindi lang pala ako
Yung nanghinayang
Nung nagaway tayo noon
At natuluyan sa iyakan at tampo

At sandali lang
Huwag ka munang magsalita
Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay mawala
Ang iniisip ko kung pwede pa ba tayo

At miserable
Paulit-ulit lang ang nangyayari
Paikot-ikot tayo parang bote
At nasanay ka na ba doon
At nalimutan ang aking mga tanong

At hindi malinaw
Pwede ba wag kang sumigaw
Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay maligaw
Nagtatanong sayo kung pwede pa ba tayo

At sandali lang
Huwag ka munang magsalita
Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay mawala
Nagtatanong sayo kung pwede pa ba tayo

I felt happy... For once, I felt like I had done the right thing... And nothing bad came out of it... No regrets, no remorse... Nothing at all... Until I realized I had only been dreaming... But what a dream it was...

Back in my Psychology class, Sir Kirbie told us that we'd remember our dreams if we woke up every 2 hours... I tried it out, and it worked... If I slept long enough, I would forget the next day, and act as if I had no dream that night... But I slept soundly, and woke up this morning like I do everyday... And somehow, I remembered the dream...

It was with you... I'm not exactly sure where we were, but I was roller-blading, and I happened to pass by you on the street... You looked up, just as I passed... And I looked back at you... Again and again... You sat down on the sidewalk, and I stopped... I figured," What the hell?", and sat down beside you... You looked at me, and you smiled... It was like your usual smile, but this one had a sad tone to it, as if you'd just heard some bad news... And the words suddenly came out of my mouth... "I'm sorry." And you just nodded back... I looked into your eyes, and I told you how sorry I was for how things
turned out between us... And we talked, about then... About now... About what will happen... About what could have been... You gave me a hug, and I felt so much better...

Sir Kirbie told us that our dreams have something to do with what we really want to happen... Or something like that... Something with the subconscious... Something about symbols in dreams, and how it would relate to what was going on in our lives... And maybe
that was what happened... Something that I wanted to do, but I couldn't... I didn't... And now I wish I had... It's not your fault... It's not mine either... Sometimes, things just happen for a reason... And just like you said, we have to learn from it... And then
you'd squeeze my arm...

I wish I had talked to you before I left... Now I hope it's not too late to do that... I wasn't that I didn't want to... They told me to try and talk, and if you didn't listen, at least I tried... But I didn't try... You've probably forgotten about me... All thatwe've been through... I hope not... Because, I still want us to be friends...

I just saw a picture that made me think very, very deeply... Why didn't I say sorry? Why didn't I try to make things right between us?

Hahaha...

Well, it's true... I only get the broadband internet connection every weekend, when my cousins don't have school and I can sleep over at their house... Mmm... And Ninang's cooking is always so delicious... Hahaha...

Anyways, I might be reviving this old blog of mine... I got the idea from a friend (you know who you are), and since I don't have school yet, I might as well be spending my time rummaging through my thoughts and putting them down here... Hahaha...

Well, life here isn't too bad once you get used to it... Just don't act like you know what you're doing... Hahaha... Like what happened to me this morning... My cousin and I were planning to go to the mall, and I boarded the bus first... Turns out I boarded at the wrong door (the one at the back)... Hahaha... I just told the driver I was new around town, and he told me it happens a lot... Hahaha...

Anyways, it's really late here... I'll reconfigure all the settings tomorrow, I might even change the setting... New country = new life (according to my Ninong)... We'll have to see...

Got invited to my first party this Saturday... I don't even know if I'm excited... Hehehe...

Things change, while some don't... For better, and for worse... I can't say I'm glad these things change... I'll see what happens...

Goodbye to what used to be... Goodbye to all that was good, all that was fun, and all that went wrong... I'll learn from my mistakes... Hopefully, things will look brighter ahead... For now, I'll just say my goodbyes...